AJRMAN
Meet My Family?
I'm back. Here in sunny California. Back to the dome like smog that covers Los Angeles. It's beautiful. I started work again, which is a drag. But it's keeping my mind off more important matters, like my impending wedding. I look down to me left hand, and stare at the band on my finger. It feels weird. But it kinda feels nice. It's a connection. It means something.
Even though Javier's father passed away last week, he seems to have been happy. It's probably because he's moving back to New York, and probably because he thinks I'm going with him. I have no idea what I'm going to do.
" So, when do I get to meet your Parents" Javier said. We were eating dinner at Casa Vega on Ventura blvd. A really, really dark restaurant which serves Mexican food. Which I really, really love. His question came out of no where.
" Why do you want to meet them?" I asked.
"Cuz, we're gettin' married, guy. Shouldn't I meet my In-laws?"
Javier wants to meet my family. Why? Why? Why? I just came out to them not even a year ago, and it was in the heat of anger. I don't talk to my Dad, my Mother doesn't know I'm gay (although they must KNOW. They're not idiots for Christ sake), plus we're kinda white trashy. I'm embarrassed.
" Ahh, you don't want to meet them" I joked, waving to the waiter for another beer.
" Yeah I do " He grabbed my hand from across the table, which made me glance around to see if anyone noticed. I let him hold it for a few seconds, then I used that hand to grab another chip to dip in the salsa. Sly move on my part, I must say. Javier continued,
" I want to meet em'. They know you're gay right?" I nodded yes. " Then let me meet them, then." He was smiling. Which was nice. But another reason why I didn't want him to meet them, was because I didn't think our "Wedding" is something REAL. I know, we'll say vows and stuff, but it won't be legal. It's just an act. Plus, I don't think we WILL be getting married. Is that bad of me?
" They don't know about you Javier. I don't discuss my private life with them. They don't ask, and I don't tell. It works for us all. "
" Well, I want to meet them. I want to see where you grew up. Come on, they'll like me. Parents love me "
" If you meet them, it's like throwing in their face that we're having sex. They aren't COOL like your family. Just.....let's just drop this, okay. I don't want you to meet them"
" Okay" he said grabbing a chip and dipping it in the salsa. There was silence between us. I stared at the chips, and he stared at the candle on the table. Nice evening we're having.
Silence, silence, and more silence. He's being a big baby about this.
" Okay" I held my hands up " You can meet them. But you're goin' as my 'Friend'. Okay? Don't hug me, or touch my shoulder, or look at me with.......with.....ahh fuck, just don't look at me either. We're friends. That's it. You got it?" He looked at me smiling, and nodding his head. He then grabbed my hand from across the table and held it.
" And ya ain't doin' this over there either" I said looking down at his hand. He pulled away, and started to laugh.
" I'm really serious about this Javier. I don't want to make them uncomfortable, and I don't want to be uncomfortable."
" Okay, okay, guy. I got it. We'll be just friends. We'll be 'Secret Lovers'. " He started to sing the song, and laughing at the same time.
" Ha, ha. We can go down there and visit for an hour or whatever. But that's it."
" Okay. It's a deal " he held his hand out for me to shake. I shook his hand. It shouldn't be that bad. My family has met my friends before. They knew David. I guess it won't be so bad. Plus we can go gambling at the new Indian casinos down there. It'll be fun. It'll be fun. No matter how much I say it, I just don't think it will be. Things are getting way to complicated now. I hope he doesn't think they're coming to our wedding, if there is one. Ah, but it will be in New York. So I'm safe. Whew. I'm not going to ask them to spend money to go to a fake wedding in New York. No way.