AJRMAN
Moving On
It's almost Halloween. Almost Christmas season. Almost New Years Eve. Almost Valentine's Day. I had a birthday. I'm thirty-two years old now. I visited my family. Everyone asked about Javier. I told them we broke up. They're like me. They don't confront issues, so they didn't ask anymore questions.
There is good news. I went to the doctor three days ago. Today they called to let me know I'm still in remission. I'm happy about that. Although remission doesn't mean I'm cured. But it's a word you really want to hear when you have cancer.
I still think of Javier. He never called. I never called. It's like he never existed. Weird.
I found an old phone bill from my cell phone company. Well I didn't actually "find" it. I searched through boxes for it. It was a bill with David's cell phone number on it. I could call him now. I should call him. He's my friend, isn't he? Although it's been almost a year since I've spoken to him. Should I call him? I think I will.
Today I begin another chapter in my life. I am not going to spend the Holiday's alone this year. I'm going to actually try to meet people. Since I can't go to bars, because I work so much. Since I can't meet guys at work, because no one gay ever goes into my restaurant. I will do what must be done. I will try internet dating. Scary! David met his partner over the internet. So it does work. It's just the embarrassment factor. Do I seem desperate? Will I be killed on the date? What if they don't look like, how they described themselves to me? What if, what if, what if.... JUST DO IT!
Wish Me Luck