AJRMAN
Letters
Thanksgiving is coming again. Unlike last year I WILL be spending it with family, minus my Father. My parent's have sold their house, but the divorce is not over yet. He's living in a motel. He e-mails me alot, often after drinking. He is blaming us and my Mother for his downfall. How he forgets that it was his infidelity that caused this divorce. It's weird, he's spent so many hours over the internet, finding other members of our family. Documenting and calling our distant relatives, trying to make our family tree. But he's never tried to connect with his own immediate family. He's a sad, sad, man.
I wrote this e-mail to him after he went on another tirade against us and my Mother. He called me a faggot. I think I hate him.
Dad,
I just read your site. I saw what you wrote about Mom. Your divorce is NOT the result of her "gambling". She divorced you because you married another woman in the Philippines. The woman you're going back to. She divorced you, because you have a home and step daughter in the Philippines, that was kept a secret.
You're crazy, and drunk enough to still think of yourself as the victim. Maybe Grandpa, while beating you, should have knocked some sense into your head. In fact, I think you need your ass kicked now. If you touch Mom at all, I will go after you Dad. You're an old man, with women's titties. You have "Bitch" titties Dad, because you're a stupid bitch. A whiney little cunt. Go to the Philippines, with your whore 2nd wife. I can't stand you. You're pathetic. I'm sure you're not even MAN enough to read this letter.
Are you sure YOU'RE not gay Dad? Because you've become a big PUSSY. Run Sissy, run. Run to your whore. She's pathetic too. What an idiot, thinking the man she married was divorced. You both are pathetic.
Remember Dad, God knows the truth. You'll burn in hell for your deception and lies.
I'm only telling you this once. Take the comment about Mom off your site today. Your such a fucking pussy, picking on woman. You fucking faggot.
He responded by saying I only remember the good times and how good we really had it. He says he's moving to the Philippines when the divorce is final. I hope he does.
Dad,
I only remember the "Happy" times? Christmas is not 365 days a year? Do you think my views on this fucked up family you've created, are seen through "Pollyanna" glasses? Believe me, I've taken those off a long time ago. I have to wonder if I ever thought we were a "Normal" family to begin with.
I believe you when you say your Father beat you and your Mother. I understand your loyalty to your Mother. Can you understand my loyalty to mine? Although I've never seen you physically abuse Mom, I've seen you beat her down with your words. You've never abused me physically, except for the occasional strangling, and kicking of my ass down the staircase. How about telling me "You're Nothing!". How about taking me fishing for 20 minutes, or watching me at a track meet and making me leave early because you had to go to the bank. How about NEVER spending ANY time with me!!! You tried to be a father the year I didn't speak to you. But it took SILENCE from me for you to even TRY. Don't remember that Dad? I'm YOU!!!!! And you are your FATHER!!!!!
So, now at 32 years of age, I can stay a 15 year old kid longing for the approval of his Father, blaming him for all my troubles. Or I can move forward, take what was, and know that it's HISTORY!! Blaming parents STOPS at 18 years of age. Beyond that, whining and wearing the "Poor ME" crown, becomes pathetic and sad.
It's odd that you spend so much time "Logging" in hours to discover our heritage. Yet you have spent 0 hours getting to know your own children. What were my dreams Dad? What am I interested in? Who AM I? What kind of person have you raised? You don't know the answers. Because you've never tried.
I don't know you either. But what you are now, I would have never thought you to be. A coward. Easier to run, than to face the problem. Easier to blame, than to seek a solution. Easier to whine, than to do what's right.
If you wanted pity from me Dad, I'm sorry, but I can't and will not give it to you. I can forgive, if you seek it. But I can't solve your problems for you. With 30+ years on me Dad, what have you learned about life? It boggles my mind that you've spent decades reliving one point in your life, over and over again. What a waste of time.
Now is the time you run again. But this time it won't be under the guise of your job. You will be leaving your family behind, by your choice. You will prolong this Divorce, by your choice. You've lied to all of us, by your choice. YOUR CHOICE!!! Our choices in life are what define us Dad. How do they define YOU?
One last hug for Daddy? You won't get one from me. How easy for you to slip-slide through our lives, always wanting but never giving. Yeah you gave us money and supported us, but being a child I apologize for not being able to support myself.
You say you are a "Shitty Dad". I wouldn't say that. You are MY Dad. The only one I have. I don't know you, but I wish I could have. I am your Son, but I assume it will change to "Was" my son. Bye Dad. Run away from me. Run far away. Hopefully, when you look back to this, you'll see that I DID try. I didn't run. I stood my ground, and said what I felt. I STAYED. I defended. I didn't run.
Your Son,
We are truly a white trash family.